Times when songs have been used to describe me

Look! It’s me! And I am totally NOT avoiding this party, motherf**ker!

I spend an inordinate amount of time wondering if what I write on here is going to offend someone, or how it will make them think of me, or how it will affect someone else—and all of these things end up making me drag my damn feet and are totally useless.

And I often do the same thing with the things I say out loud. Unfortunately, it’s usually WAY after I’ve said them that I realize they may have been misinterpreted, or taken in a way I don’t mean them. Because we all remember times when things have been said to us, and for whatever reason, those phrases STICK.

Even if we know they’re not true (then or now), or we’re puzzled over why they were said, or they hurt us deeply, or made us feel awesome. And thus, the first installment of “Times when songs have been used to describe me” – aka: “Things that have been said to me that I will likely never forget.”

1. One time at in like, 1992, shortly after U2’s ZOO TV tour (I remember this because I was wearing a gold glitter U2 t-shirt that was about 3 sizes too big for me), a bunch of friends were having a BBQ and dancing to “classic” – read: pre-1990 – U2 songs. When “With of Without You” came on, this guy that I vaguely remember said, very loudly, right after the “…and you give yourself away” lyric:

 “You do, you know. You give yourself away.”

I didn’t really know how to respond to that, or what he meant by it. And I didn’t want clarification, so instead I called him a “fucker,” hurled my beer bottle at him, and stomped out in a rage.

2. During the heyday of The Posies Dear 23, my not-yet-fiancé told me this while “You Avoid Parties” was playing:

 “This song is about you. I mean, it … describes you SO much.”

I completely lost it and started crying, and then I got PISSED. Because as much as he thought he knew me, I didn’t feel like he knew me enough to say something like that. And I had been trying my hardest to be brave and friendly and outgoing—something that was really difficult after being in an abusive relationship in my teens. Since I had shared that information with him, I felt totally betrayed that he would say something out loud referencing that — in front of our friends — and also I felt like he was saying that I was still broken, and how could he even love me if that was true?

3. When I was very young, my grade-school friends and I used to have “dance contests.” I like to think it was a common thing that happened in the 80s, but it was probably just something us weirdos decided would be cool. But! Anyway. Dance contests consisted of two people basically having a “dance-off.” I don’t mean break-dancing (that wasn’t yet a thing in my group of friends), I mean that the non-dancing people would choose a song, and two of us would face-off, with one being declared the winner. One time I won, and the defeated party (another girl) said that Hall & Oates’ “Maneater” was about me,

“I hate you so much! You’re just like this song!!! A … a … MANEATER!”

I was 12. The concept of what being a maneater means was lost on all of us, I assure you. Also, this is probably the funniest thing anyone has ever said to me, ever. And I will never, ever forget it.

Long story short (too late!): I would like to formally request that people stop comparing me to song lyrics. Unless it’s Pat Benatar’s “Invincible” from The Legend of Billie Jean – then, PLEASE DO.

{Did you know there is a 9+ minute version of this song? YOU DO NOW! (and you’re welcome)}


4 responses to “Times when songs have been used to describe me

  • abbytron

    Hahaha, a pair of guys (friends of mine) once dedicated Maneater to me and my cousin because we didn’t want to go out with them (you know, in the romantic sense). I’m pretty sure every girl in the world has been compared to that song by a jilted man at least once.

  • Jenn

    Yeah – “Invincible” – that’s right, damn it! I seem to remember being told by a certain someone, that REM’s Orange Crush was a song that was SO about me. Still to this day I don’t understand his reference. As far as I know the song is written about Vietnam and the Agent Orange that was used. Haven’t seen that picture in a long time…..our youngness shines bright even with closed eyes.

    • Amie

      OMG. I totally forgot about that Orange Crush thing! YOU ARE RIGHT! What. Why? I don’t know.

      And there are more 90s photos of us in my Flickr account, if you wanna revisit old times. 🙂

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