Monthly Archives: May 2012

Times when songs have been used to describe me

Look! It’s me! And I am totally NOT avoiding this party, motherf**ker!

I spend an inordinate amount of time wondering if what I write on here is going to offend someone, or how it will make them think of me, or how it will affect someone else—and all of these things end up making me drag my damn feet and are totally useless.

And I often do the same thing with the things I say out loud. Unfortunately, it’s usually WAY after I’ve said them that I realize they may have been misinterpreted, or taken in a way I don’t mean them. Because we all remember times when things have been said to us, and for whatever reason, those phrases STICK.

Even if we know they’re not true (then or now), or we’re puzzled over why they were said, or they hurt us deeply, or made us feel awesome. And thus, the first installment of “Times when songs have been used to describe me” – aka: “Things that have been said to me that I will likely never forget.”

1. One time at in like, 1992, shortly after U2’s ZOO TV tour (I remember this because I was wearing a gold glitter U2 t-shirt that was about 3 sizes too big for me), a bunch of friends were having a BBQ and dancing to “classic” – read: pre-1990 – U2 songs. When “With of Without You” came on, this guy that I vaguely remember said, very loudly, right after the “…and you give yourself away” lyric:

 “You do, you know. You give yourself away.”

I didn’t really know how to respond to that, or what he meant by it. And I didn’t want clarification, so instead I called him a “fucker,” hurled my beer bottle at him, and stomped out in a rage. Continue reading


Remembering my first real kiss.

In my memory, I look WAY cooler. But this is what 13-year-old me had goin’ on.

I was 13, and I was wearing his Huey Lewis the News tee, cropped jeans, white Keds, and a red bandana tied around my neck. We drove around in his car for a while, Berlin’s Pleasure Victim cranked on the stereo. (Despite the obvious sexuality of the “Sex…I’m A” lyrics, nothing about this night was about sex. It was about romance.)

He stopped the car, we got out to look at the stars — and in one, magical movement, he swept me off my feet, sat me on top of the hood, and leaned in to kiss me. It seemed like it lasted forever. It was a perfect movie moment with someone special, and one of the last (and only) times I’d be with a boy who didn’t immediately push me for more.

Just a kiss. A really beautiful, unforgettable kiss.

If I knew where he was now, I’d thank him for that.

Thank you, Terry. For one of the only nice teenage memories I have. Thank you.    


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